fidelesir:

busket:

me at 8pm: you know im kind of tired maybe i’ll actually get to bed at a reasonable hour like 10 or 11 or something

me at 2 am:

reblogging bc it’s 3 AM and… well.

  

accio-shitpost:

snape: i will teach you how to BOTTLE FAME

snape: BREW GLORY

snape: and make a MILKSHAKE that brings all the BOYS to the YARD

  

daitaizai:

jonboowart:

jonboowart:

jonboowart:

jonboowart:

there’s an old man on my bus wearing a sparkly devil horn headband i don’t understand

now he’s wearing a hot dog hat this is not a drill

i’m putting on my dinosaur hat we can be hat friends

he got off at the same stop as me and waited for me to get off the bus so he could laugh and shake my hand and then he just walked away without a word this is the weirdest day of my life

  

kingofbrooklynny:

wanting to interact with other blogs but getting anxiety because they’re Cool™ and you’re a piece of lettuce is a very interesting thing to go through every day

  

ryanphantom:

me: accomplishes something actually productive

the fbi agent watching me:

  

daenerysbeauty:

i’m literally going to write out of spite a fantasy series focused on the relationship between two gay wizards in the 1920s who are driven apart due to one’s lust for power, ultimately leading to a final confrontation between the two to determine the fate of the world. and you know what??? jk can’t even sue me for it since she never actually incorporated it into her works, so boom i win.

  

earthdad:

Hollywood: *shows me more Jennifer Lawrence movies*

me:

  

luvkirby4ever:

Coworkers: “Wow look at you listening to your podcasts all the time. How intellectual!”

Me: [awkwardly] “Haha thanks.”

Griffin McElroy, through my earpiece: “When you NUT IN SPACE, it PUSH YOU BACKWARDS.”

  

synthgay:

5u5:

thats just the way the pussy crumbles

please see a gynecologist

  

ghoulsjw:

my feelings vs me